Not quite back at the top of my game yet. Just the opposite.
I’m starting over again and am carrying the burden of guilt, lonliness and wasted time. But, like my friend Steve Cowen says, the place you end up is the only place you could end up. It’s not a ‘fate’ sort of thought. It’s not a ‘pre-destination” thing. It’s not a ‘god’s master plan’ way of abdicating responsibility. It’s that there are near infinite choices to make, decisions on direction, etc. I made these choices. I could have made others. I ended up here – starting over. It’s the only place I could be given the choices I made.
I’m not hiding, though. There have been times in my past where I’d have chosen to do that. It was the best choice then. Therapeutic avoidance. But, as an evolving human, I know there’s more now. What’s the best way to get there? Chances are, it doesn’t include that whole package of Oreo cookies.
Significantly,
Susan Scot Fry
Update… Getting there.
A Year of Significance 
When I look back at my life (the whole thing…and even ten minutes ago) and all of my choices, I have come to realize that I have trained myself to become an acceptor. And…I like being an acceptor. I have a happy life because I accept what comes to me and I move on from there…yeah, I have dreams and goals and wants and wishes but I also have realities that I make work for me and then they often turn in to dreams and goals and things I never imagined I needed or wanted. It works best when I think of this metaphor: In a dark room, I don’t fumble for the light switch, but rather….I stand still and wait for my eyes to focus….
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Thank you, Amie.
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Today, I’m standing still, waiting for my eyes to focus.
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You’ve seen the choices I made, for good or ill, over the past decade. All of them brought about this present outcome. And it is what it is. Whatever my next steps are are my choices again. I’m just glad you were there for me on all the choices I’ve made.
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