Hello Mania, My Old Friend
I’m sorry but if you aren’t a member of Club Bipolar you’ll never quite understand how mania makes you feel like a ROCK STAR. You can do all the things, you’re brilliant, you’re burning bright, you’re a massive, self-destructive pain in the ass. Yes. Bipolar mania. Delicious, yet not really worth it.
One of the possible side effects of Vyvanse is racing thoughts – a big old symptom of the manic side of being bipolar. This is high (no pun intended) on the list of things my drug Dr is monitoring. Will Vyvanse diminish the peaceful, even-keeled nirvana I’ve achieved with my bipolar meds?
I’m just not going to tell him.
Because… YIPPEEE!
Double downside
Okay, it’s fun but…
- I don’t trust this feeling. My brain lies to me.
- I fear this feeling. It won’t last and I’ll be crushed.
- It’s temporary. Because nothing positive or healthy that’s food related has ever been permanent. I’ll fail again.
- I’m afraid of feeling manic because it means soul-killing depression is around the corner and I’ll cause pain to those who love me.
Wait! This is supposed to be good thing??????
Okay. Breathe.
Is it diminishing my urge to binge eat?
Yes.
Past all the ego-id-superego noise in my head, I’m ready to report that I may be eye-twitchy, thirsty, energetic, and headachy, but there’s nary a binge eating urge in sight.
Until it wears off.
It’s wild that the urge has dimmed after only a few days. It’s a bizarre dichotomy, though. My thoughts haven’t changed much. I still plan when I get to eat and think about how much and dream of junk food and all those ingrained binge eating disorder habits. I also don’t feel driven to actually do it.
Until it wears off.
Perhaps I will tell my drug Dr.
In the meantime…. YIPPEEEEE!!!
I’m Susan Scot Fry, the author of “A Year of Significance”. In 2020, I take on the greatest nemesis of my life: Binge Eating Disorder. With a side of aplomb sauce. Honest, occasionally humorous and sometimes I swear.
A Year of Significance 