Hello. My name is Susan Scot Fry and I’m embarking on a new journey. Writing about the most overwhelming and terrifying thing in my life…

Binge Eating Disorder.

I Live To Eat. I’m obsessed with food. And not in a good, healthy, fun, let’s try out that new Thai place kind of way.

Nope.

I’ve had an eating disorder for 52 years. For reasons. More about reasons later. But first – there it is. The ugly truth out loud.

How does this make you feel?

  • Have you abandoned me yet?
  • Are you cringing in embarrassment at my confession?
  • Are you nodding sagely?
    • If you’re nodding sagely, stop it. I feel bad enough already thank you very much.
      • Unless you’re nodding sagely because you also suffer from an eating disorder and get what I’m saying. Then add one of those awkward fist bump things.
      • Or, unless you’re nodding sagely because you understand how devastating this is and are expressing your support. You get a fist bump too.
  • Are you itching to tell me what to do to fix it?
    • Again, stop it. I have horrid experiences with that. Remind me to tell you about a nutritionist I met once. Suffice it to say – I don’t react positively to ‘helpful’ advice from anyone who doesn’t also suffer from BED or isn’t a therapist who has experience with eating disorders.
  • Are you bored?

I miiiiiiight be feeling a little defensive. Not your fault. It’s part of the self-imposed stigma and I can’t help it. Yet.

The Health Care Industry

At my annual physical in Sept 2019, my primary care physician asked me if I realized that I was up to XXXXXX lbs? I replied yes and that I have Binge Eating Disorder. She practically relaxed when I told her. Like “Oh, good. I can’t fix that and it’s not going to kill you in the next couple months.”

Seriously??? The medical professional to whom I entrust my care didn’t immediately enroll me in an intense course of therapy with the plethora of highly trained specialists in our network?

Nope.

Reality. It’s easy to ignore because I’m not in immediate danger of dying. Instead, I’m slowly killing myself but the process is starting to speed up.

Any Dr, therapist or whomever I’ve ever seen about BED have been hopelessly inadequate. The ‘specialist’ in my massive mega health care network is way over booked. Yes – there’s only one. I did manage to see her a couple times over the course of 6 weeks but we never actually got around to talking about, you know, that thing. That… thing… that… I… need to talk about. It’s like she was reluctant.

Lady! Talking about eating disorders is your reason for being in this room with me and everyone else who has no choice but to see you because we can’t afford to go to a private therapist.

What’s Next?

Okay. Breathe, Susan. I think I just buried my point somewhere. What was it? Oh, yes.

I have Binge Eating Disorder. This is not some kind of revelation – aha – breakthrough moment for me. I’ve known this my whole life.

I have stuff to do. With the rate I’m deteriorating, I won’t have enough time to do it. So, finally, it’s an urgent issue. What a relief! Yay.

Hello. My name is Susan and I have Binge Eating Disorder.

What’s next? My drug Dr. has a new prescription… We’ll get into that soon.

Will it work? Oh hell…. Nothing has thus far, so what have I got to loose?

 

Susan pic 2019 cropped

Susan Scot Fry is the author of “A Year of Significance” which morphed into “A Life of Significance: Adventures in Oversharing” when it turned out she wasn’t done living after that first year but had developed a taste for saying too much.