I’m sorry.
Wow! That’s amazing! It’s like a brick has been lifted off my chest and has been flung out the window, being careful to avoid the cartoon bluebird fluttering nearby.
Sorry Sorry Sorry.
Ah.
My last post was V-I-T-R-I-O-L. As a matter of fact, several of the posts from A Year of Significance have been laden with anger and accusation. Yes, it’s true. In between the golden, shining examples of human evolution, there have been occasional excursions into poopiness.
I’ve offended some people.
I’ve angered some people.
I’ve hurt some people.
I’ve aired dirty laundry and have shocked some people.
I have been passive-aggressive.
Sorry. Very sorry.
A Year of Significance was an exercise in honesty and process with the goal of perspective and evolution. I believe I achieved that. But that’s not all I achieved. It’s hard to go through the wringer with someone even when they come out on the other end stronger, more peaceful, happier, etc. It’s hard not to be affected or to react.
My last post has been weighing on me and I had an Aha! moment when I woke up this morning and realized, I need to say Sorry.
Sometimes I’m dumb. For those of you I’ve hurt, angered, freaked, shocked, manipulated or made feel like I’m a pathetic looser, can we have a do-over? Or, if not, please simply accept my apology and I wish you well.
I’m going to keep moving on here and keep trying to do the right thing. Sometimes, I’ll make it. Sometimes, I won’t. But, I’ll never give up trying. Hey, you’ve met me. You know.
Significantly,
Susan Scot Fry
A Year of Significance 
I’ve said it at least once in the last year, and I’m going to repeat myself, since this is the “summing up” part of the exercise:
It is so miraculously refreshing to know that someone is actually **examining** their life, and place in the world, and citizenship in the human race.
For all of the people who are hurtful or stupid or small or petty and have no clue how what they do affects others — I try to be philosophical instead of taking it personally, and chalk it up to them just not knowing that they are going through life stomping on other people (we won’t even discuss the people who do know and are just fine with it). But, the needle on the scale of how I regard those individuals will really not rise above that level of respect that we owe each other just because we are fellow human beings.
For you, OTOH, and others who are really willing to put in the emotional (and sometimes tangible) sweat equity into being a better person, and figuring out what the things are that propel you forward in that journey, and what things hold you back — my respect is tremendous.
Sure, we’re all going to fail in our best intentions with some regularity. But the willingness (and capability) to realize that it is occasionally necessary to say “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong,” AND THEN ACTUALLY DO IT…that’s entirely what separates the people I want to call friend (and am proud to do so) from those that I will prefer to remain strangers or mere acquaintances.
Thank you.
Thank you for taking this journey. Because you deserve to reap the benefits of having done so.
Thank you for being willing to make the commitment to, and take the risk of, doing so publicly. Because that carries a lot more strings and emotional landmines. It took guts (another reason why I’m glad to know you! ;-> ). It made what you were doing more difficult, and it also made it clear that you were serious enough to want a level of accountability for what you did that few of us would want to invite.
Finally, thank you for letting us take the journey with you, insofar as it invited everyone who read along, whether they submitted comments or not, to undertake our own self-examination and reflect on our own inner workings and core beliefs. Yes, even when you were angry and hurt about something, and sincerely struggling to work it out!
That, in total, helps make the entire community a slightly better place. Which, God knows, we could all use!
Thank you.
Much love, and see you tomorrow!
🙂
~ c.
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What Christie said in spades. I am glad to have you back and to walk through 2011 with you, whether it be good, bad or ugly. Big Hugs!
G
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