(Warning – this blog post will read like a rant.  I am ranting, but I’m not mad.  I’m declaring my independence.  I feel a sense of freedom and purpose as I write.  I may be on the verge of joy.)

Waiting.  I’ve spent a lifetime waiting.  It’s a comfortable little rut with the perfect excuse for not getting the thing done.

I’m not waiting anymore.

If you want to be a part of something that I’m doing, then great.  I need you and am grateful and glad.

If you want to help but have limited time, then say so.  We’ll figure out a way for you to get involved with no future obligation once the project is complete.  But do not take it on if you can’t finish it.  No more open-ended promises.

If you thought you wanted to help, but changed your mind then cowgirl (or boy) up and say something.  I need to move on and cannot wait for you anymore.

If you don’t want to be a part of it, then don’t placate me with excuses.  Wish me well and get out of my way.  I respect that so much more than well-intentioned promises that end up delaying me while I make plans and considerately wait for you to be available.

I’m not waiting anymore.  It’s not because I’m mad at you.  It’s because I finally realized that I don’t have the time to waste.  I finally realized that I’m not doing myself or anyone else any good when I wait.  All I’m doing is delaying getting the thing done.

Just like every single human being on the planet, I am the center of  of my own universe.  It’s rare and miraculous when we connect and help each other.  It’s a great gift to step outside your own drives for a brief, shining period of time and do something for someone else.  But don’t say you’re going to do it and then don’t.

The path to hell…

I need other people.  I will treat you with as much respect, appreciation and support as humanly possible.  That’s my nature, and truly what I feel when someone lends their considerable hands, talents and precious time.  But, what I can’t do is wait for you anymore.

Significantly,

Susan Scot Fry

Update… What this really means is much, much more a change in my own actions than in anyone elses.  I knew that when I wrote this post, though.

If I’m not waiting for anyone else, that means I’m taking responsibility for outcomes in a direct, active fashion.  That means asking myself first if I can do the thing myself and, if not, is there someone else who can do it for me from whom I can get a reasonable commitment.  Then, I have to follow up.

Taking personal responsibility doesn’t always mean doing it myself.  But, it means ensuring that it gets done.