I usually feel like I’m behind.  That I’m running late.  I’m not.  I’m frequently a wee bit ahead of the game.  Maybe that’s why.

It’s a motivator.  As long as I’m aware of it, that’s fine.  When it becomes a source of angst, that’s not.  When I start to act like a poor-me, misunderstood, under-appreciated victim, it’s not.

Motivators like this are a double-edged sword.  The trick for me is to be conscious of them.  To marry motivators with priorities and perspective.

I’m on a deadline right now, but I bet that I expect that it will take me a lot longer to complete the project than it actually does.  I know people who, when they give me their guestimate on how long it’s going to take them to do something, I automatically double that time.  With me, if I figure it’s going to take me 4 days, it will probably take me 2.

So, I work my butt off for those 2 days and then am left buzzing for 2 because I didn’t schedule the next thing right on it’s tail.  It’s a weird, weird feeling.  To have this (sometimes self-imposed) urgent task and then be done with it ahead of time and be at a loss as to what to do next.  After all, I had carefully planned on being in over my head, horribly crabby about it and totally inaccessible for 4 whole days.  What do I do with the other 2?

What?

Yeah, I know me.

Yeah, some of you know me too and are chuckling – albeit in a ‘yeah, I’ve been on the receiving end of that crabbiness’ sort of way.

Back to work.

Significantly,

Susan Scot Fry

Update… Wow, this is a big one for me.  A sense of perspective about this habit is helpful.  The pressure immediately comes off when I realize that a chunk of it is self-imposed.  When the conflicting fear of taking on too much and the drive to achieve is released, I feel so much free-er to ‘do’.